Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Where the hell did I go?

Kristine at Wait in the Van recently (and by recently, I mean about a month ago) asked me where I went, and it reminded me that I never got around to writing a "Yo bitches, I'm taking a hiatus" post. So here it is, many months late.
It all started with a call from the CIA on a hot July morning. They wanted to recruit to work as an assassin...on Mars! You see the president of Mars has been secretly sponsoring Mars' largest drug operation, headed by the army of bear-rhinos, and...
Actually I've just been training for a marathon and studying for the GREs. The truth's so lame, comparatively. But, since both of those things are fairly time consuming, I needed to cut something out, and since I wasn't about to put and end to my job, sleeping, eating, or taking care of my dog, blogging got the ax. A big, sharp, smashing ax that took with it not only writing my blog, but also reading other's blogs, since I actually end up spending more time on the later. Sorry, everyone.
Also, my apologies for being so remiss about writing this post. Not-blogging is like doing heroin. At first you're all like, "eh, I'll just do this for a day or two and then I'll write my farewell blog" or "eh, I'll just shoot up once or twice, and then I'll get back to my life as a DEA agent." But two months later you haven't written shit and you're thinking of naming your first born "black tar" or "smack." Or something like that.
But this is all temporary. I hope to be back at this blogging thing again in a few months, as my schedule allows. So don't go nowhere on me (even though I totally bailed on you without so much as even a goodbye high five; basically I'm like the really bad boyfriend of the blogging world who starts cheating on you with another activity and then is all like, "girl, look, I'll be back in like November, and we'll totally knock boots, cause you're like mega hot."). In the meantime, the topic is Nuclear Armageddon, discuss amongst yourselves.


  1. Sweet jay-sus, I thought you were abducted by aliens. I NEED to know whether Elvis Costello or Elvis Presley is more awesome. I've lost sleep since I suggested the topic in early aught-nine. Stop doing all that healthy stuff like marathons and studying, crack a beer, sit down and get to writing so that I can get a decent night's sleep.

  2. I'll stick around...but only 'cause you said "knock boots."

  3. Good luck on the GREs and with the marathon!

  4. I thought your pets ate you as revenge for all those wiseass posts on Things Pets Do.

  5. Oh shit, dude that paragraph about heroin made me choke on my coffee. HilARious.

  6. DG: No alien abductions, fortunately, since the only thing worse than studying vocab all day are anal probes. I'll work on the whole Elvis debate, and get you an answer as soon as I can.
    Kate: Yes! I knew I'd wrangle someone in that with that sweet and romantic expression of caring.
    Detroit: Thanks!
    Bumbles: I'm actually pretty susprised they haven't yet. They're much more understanding than I.
    Letters: Exactly. That's perfect simplification of this post. Wish I had been so concise.
    Kristine: Sweet. I mean, not sweet that you choked. That's terrible and awful. And choking on coffee must be doubly bad because it's so damn hot. But sweet that you liked the bit about heroin.
    小貓咪 : Like totally. Just what you said. I mean, my Chinese/Japanese/Korean? is a little rusty, but sounds like you made a great point.

  7. WTF? I was wondering WTF happened to you.. we miss you at the castle.. and.. when you left.. you forgot to leave your key under the mat.,. now we have all kinds of people running through our halls,,,,,we were worried about you!