Monday, January 19, 2009


Short: In which I put two opponents through an unbearably rigorous and entirely fictional set of contests to decide who or what is better. Just ask and I'll answer.

So there you are, sitting at a Mexican restaurant in Ohio, wondering why you traveled all the way to Ohio for Mexican food, when it hits you, like a panic attack or a UFC fighter who caught you with his girlfriend: who’s more awesome, The Rolling Stone or The Beatles? It’s a clich├ęd question, you realize, but you don’t want to know which band makes the better music, you want to knows which band would kick the other’s ass, beat them in a foot race, own them in archery, pwn them in pie eating, school them in chess, out sexy them in a swimsuit strut, and wow them in a wine tasting. Well, coincidentally, you came to the right place, because here I judge two opposing forces of any kind, on all those levels, and give you, the man who confused “Ohio” with “Cabo” (hey both have four letters, right?) an answer. Just ask.
And while you’re there, I hear the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is nice. But seriously, stop eating those burritos. Burritos aren’t even real Mexican food.

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